Hi everyone, glad to see you!
I'm really sorry, but I need to have a bit of a rant here.
WARNING Parts of this rant may offend some people, so please do not take anything personally.
I jsut need to get something off my chest!
I have spent years making and gifting many items - be they quilts, knitted baby wear, crocheted or knitted blankets, shawls - the list could go on. I spend a lot of time, money, energy making these items, because I love to make things. I don't want kudos, I just want to make something for someone, it gives me great pleasure and I pour a lot of love into everything I make.I often don't mention things on this blog because they are personal and I don't want to mention them!!
Over the past two years, probably, I have noticed that often, when I gift an item, I don't even know if the person has received it, yet alone anything else.
People appear to believe that the item I have made is worth no more than the same item from a department store that they can buy for $5. That item will fall apart before 12 months passes, but they can easily go and buy another!
They appear to place no value on the work and love that has gone into what I have gifted.
They don't appreciate it.
I have, at times, sent items interstate and never been told that they have arrived, let alone received a "thank you".
Am I being rude here? Can anyone relate to what I am saying? Am I stupid to expect that my gift would be appreciated? or am I being silly?
Please, can someone tell me how to get over this unappreciated feeling? Am I placing too much onto people, to expect a small response, or am I just plain old stupid.
Even though I am upset about this, I know I will continue to make things for others and continue to be upset by their lack of understanding, but can anyone give me some idea of how to live with this? Please let me know your ideas, I really do need some other viewpoints here. Thanks
Take care
I'm really sorry, but I need to have a bit of a rant here.
WARNING Parts of this rant may offend some people, so please do not take anything personally.
I jsut need to get something off my chest!
I have spent years making and gifting many items - be they quilts, knitted baby wear, crocheted or knitted blankets, shawls - the list could go on. I spend a lot of time, money, energy making these items, because I love to make things. I don't want kudos, I just want to make something for someone, it gives me great pleasure and I pour a lot of love into everything I make.I often don't mention things on this blog because they are personal and I don't want to mention them!!
Over the past two years, probably, I have noticed that often, when I gift an item, I don't even know if the person has received it, yet alone anything else.
People appear to believe that the item I have made is worth no more than the same item from a department store that they can buy for $5. That item will fall apart before 12 months passes, but they can easily go and buy another!
They appear to place no value on the work and love that has gone into what I have gifted.
They don't appreciate it.
I have, at times, sent items interstate and never been told that they have arrived, let alone received a "thank you".
Am I being rude here? Can anyone relate to what I am saying? Am I stupid to expect that my gift would be appreciated? or am I being silly?
Please, can someone tell me how to get over this unappreciated feeling? Am I placing too much onto people, to expect a small response, or am I just plain old stupid.
Even though I am upset about this, I know I will continue to make things for others and continue to be upset by their lack of understanding, but can anyone give me some idea of how to live with this? Please let me know your ideas, I really do need some other viewpoints here. Thanks
Take care
6 comments:
First I wouldn't send those people anything home-made again. If you need to send them something, go get them the $5 scarf or whatever else. Don't waste your creativity and energy into them. Some people just don't realize all the work that goes into even a simple little table runner.
I'm fortunate enough to not have this happen yet. I usually track what I send so I at least know it made it to its final destination.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. People can be so rude.
I agree I would not make that person/s anything else handmade. I have had this happen, also. Sometimes the person who really appreciates your time/effort/cost helps make up for the unappreciative person.
Many people don't understand the amount of work and thought that goes into you hand made things, and have no concept of their value (non-monetary). It's plain rude not to acknowledge receipt of the gift and say thank you. If they don't want it, they can recycle it. I think if you give something, you need to detach yourself emotionally, otherwise you'll be hurt all the time. When you pack it up, tell yourself "This is not mine anymore and what happens now is not my concern and I have no expectations.' And then be pleasantly surprised if somebody actually does say thank you.
I agree with Moose-ings...people these days seem not to think it is the right thing to do to say thankyou or just to let you know the gift has arrived. But do you get more pleasure from the making and giving?? If that is so then enjoy the making and the giving and maybe give them to an organisation that then hands them on to other people.
A gift is exactly that, a gift. Once it leaves your hands you no longer have any say in what happens to it or how it is received. Like a balloon you must let it go. Having said that we all like to feel appreciated so I would only suggest choosing carefully who will be the recipient of your special handmade gifts. Choose those who you think will most appreciate them.
I quit making gifts for extended family because of this. I use to make my grandkids clothing and their Mother wouldn't dress them in the clothing so I quit. Society has become a throw away society so I figure I make it and they can fight over it when I die. Enjoy the process and don't beat yourself up over it. I figure they weren't taught right to show appreciation for what they have been given. Chris
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